So yay! I don't feel like dying, But I do have the Sadness. I've been managing it, and adding some new Happy by:
Waking up at five. This isn't new, I was always waking up at five, because that's when Edie rehearses her role in a Korean horror film. She plays Throatsitting Cat, who sucks out souls with her claws. You're not falling back asleep after a wakeup like that, though I'd try. I'd only get up at seven groggy and moody. A couple weeks ago I asked the Universe for more hours in the day, not really expecting I'd hear back about it. A few days later it occurred to me maybe I was supposed to be rising at five and that there was my extra two hours. So I wake up, feed Edie, jump back in bed to read one freaky book or another for about an hour, and write 750 words. After that I feel moderately chirpy so I get up and do a yoga DVD. I'm not tired through the day like I was worried I might be, and I'm drifting off to sleep really well at night, same bedtime as ever.
So yeah, yoga. Circus training finished and it took only a few months for my core strength to disappear and I became al blobfish. But exercise is a mood booster and the more you do it the more you start to want to do it so I just thought I'd do the minimum possible, but every day. That meant a half-hour yoga DVD I've owned for ten years. Its working really well, its a self-fulfilling positive feedback-loop of doing it often enough to see changes and being motivated to then do it longer. You also get addicted to the dopamine release. I feel myself becoming flexier, I'm getting back my core strength, my arms are getting strong and I'm getting all balancey! I can do that side-angle balance-on-one-arm-and-side-of-one-foot pose and lift my top leg up! For several seconds! My next challenge is the stand- on-one-leg-while-grabbing-the-big-toe-of-your-other-leg-and-stretching-it-out-all-long-and-elegant. I also might go back to circus training and do an aerial class next term. TJ and I are going to a one-day introductory class over in Fitzroy sometime soon to try it out.
Cold showers in the morning for three minutes. No, not for the reason you think. Well sorta I guess but mostly, because if you stand under the cold water for one hundred and eighty seconds, that's generally the worst you're gonna feel all that day. About one hundred and twenty seconds in, the water actually stops feeling cold, and you get a really nice feeling for the last minute, because you can hack it. Cold-water therapy is a Thing, it amps up the happy dopamine in your brain and can be used to treat depression. I'm not depressed of course, just got the Sads but I figure I need all the neurochemical boosters I can get. I highly recommend. To be honest I did it religiously for the first two weeks or so and now only every couple of days but I should get back to everyday, it really is so helpful. Cold water's better for your hair too.
Smoothies. I only wanted to eat icecream from the tub and you can't keep that up for long so I compromised and told myself I could eat smoothies until I felt like something else. I was over that in about a week but I've kept up the morning smoothie habit. I put frozen berries, coconut milk, cooled green tea, yoghurt, and shredded coconut in, also chia seeds for some omega-3 realness and raw kale leaves because they have something in them that's good for maybe your face? I forget and you can't taste them whizzed up with the berries.Cocoa nibs or Carob pods. You got any smoothie recipes for me?
Much purchasing of consumer products. I usually am the very opposite of a spendthrift but lately its seemed like a good time to buy all the things. Several striped fine woollen layering jumpers more alike than different. I planned on biking over to a shop on Chapel Street that stocks luxurious versions of quotidian household items priced to incite class warfare. I would cackle as I forked over one hundred and twenty-five dollars, and beam as I left the store swinging a tissue-lined bag containing a famous French candle that smells like a burning hardwood forest full of endangered wildlife. But when I gleefully let my friend Bec in on the plan she was outraged and unilaterally forbade it. She'd driven me out to Southland on the Nepean Highway and so we smelled thirty-dollar candles for a half hour before settling on one that smells of '1977', which is pear and lime if you didn't know, and I cheered Bec on as she bought a Sodastream for her toddler. A Sophie Dahl cookbook. A flippy board thingy you use to fold your jumpers so they're all the same size and you can stack them up like in the shop. Drunkards Path quilting templates, a special foot for sewing them together and some more Anna Maria Horner Field Study charm squares. A metric shit-ton of Freya and Cleo bras. I fancied myself among the 20% of women wearing the correct bra size, but the smug got knocked out of me when I got properly fitted at a speciality shop I ducked into and was bereft at the news that I'm sized out of Elle MacPherson. And it turns out I'd been wearing my boobs an inch lower than I needed to be. But I tripped out of the shop swinging a bag of cute Freyas and have ordered a bunch of discontinued styles off ebay because I went down a wormhole of alllllllll the preeeetteeeee lingerieeeeeeeee! A set of seventy-two Derwent Inktense coloured pencils in a two-tiered wooden presentation box. You should get some, though if noone broke up with you in the last few months you probably only want a set of twelve or twenty-four, I'm really thinking I did go overboard. The colours are mixable with water, and you can draw on cotton or silk with them and then use water to make it look like you painted it on with ink, and it's supposed to be permanent. I'll show you when they get here. They're for my inner child really, who misses her Crayola Caddy. I'm making a wedding present for my friends Chris and Audrey and I think the Inktense pencils will have something to do with it. Freaky little cheap cosmetic things like Healthy Hoof cuticle cream (it's terrific!) and Collagen Lip Masks from China. Its only a few dollars and it's nice to have that anticipation for the post each day on the way home. Both ebay and the seller have warned me I should expect delays in delivery of the Lip Masks, intimating that this is due to them occupying some sort of importation/safety grey area, so I'm hoping that means they work on marionette lines.
The shopoholism was fun while it lasted but its done with now- I've run out of money and am allergic to debt and I'm into people, not things. Good times are hanging out with my sister and little baby Bonnie, and friends both old and new. TJ, Jenny and I are becoming quite the little sewing-and-restaurant-eating posse. We've carried on like pork chops since the word go, and we've got a sewing day planned at my my place in a few weeks that I'm super excited about. We're going to be bra-sewing actually, cobbling together various patterns and perusing the Making Beautiful Bras DVD and book. I sort of wish I had remembered I was so soon to be sewing bras when I went on my lingerie-buying binge but then again would it really have stopped me? Anyway I'll have many styles to copy and I'll be in the 20% of women sewing the right size.
|Edie and quilting, making me happy.|